but its important
IM SORRY BUT IM DYING THEY LOOK LIKE A BOY BAND
Why am I suddenly attracted to a cactus I hate this website
"Leaf me alone." [wingnut4772]
I had a disturbing exchange with a high school-aged person today that prompted this…
- Beer, wine, mead, and cider are fermented beverages.
- Mead is made from honey.
- Cider is made from apples.
- Beer is made from grains.
- Beer tastes like beer because they flavor it with hops.
- They used to flavor beer with dandelions.
- Ain’t that cute?
- All beer is either ale or lager.
- Ale is fermented at room temperature.
- Lager is brewed and store cold.
- Barleywine, bitter, porter, and stout are ales.
- Pilsner and bock are lagers.
- Most of the crap people drink in America is pale lager.
- Mosft of the crap people drink in Ireland is dry stout.
- Butterbeer isn’t real.
- (Except actually I think it is, and I heard it tastes like cream soda)
- Miruvor isn’t real, either, but it probably would taste like squash.
- Ent-draught isn’t real, either, but shit, it would be awesome if it were.
- Wine is made from fermented fruit juice, usually grapes.
- Red wine is made from red grapes.
- White wine is made from green grapes.
- The name of the grape is the name of the wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot are all varieties of grape)
- Unless you live in France.
- In which case, the name of the place supersedes the name of the grape.
- (for example: Burgundies are made in Burgundy, France, but Burgundy wine can be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay)
- Champagne is any sparkling white wine.
- However, Champagne can also be wine that comes from Champagne, France.
- Drink red wine with beef. Drink white wine with fish.
- Act like it tastes good.
- Keep a Diet Coke in your bag for later.
- You’ll be fine.
- Brandy is distilled wine.
- Cognac is brandy aged in oak barrels.
- Don’t fuck around with the French about their cognac.
- Fortified wine is wine with added alcohol.
- Sherry is fortified white wine made in Spain.
- Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal.
- Vermouth is fortified white wine plus grape spirits.
- Sweet vermouth has added sugar.
- Dry vermouth has added spices like nutmeg.
- Liquors are distilled spirits that contain ethanol.
- Liqueurs are liquors that have sugar and flavors added.
- Liquors can be made from grains, fruits, or vegetables.
- Grain alcohol is liquor made from grains. Duh.
- Gin, Vodka, and Whisky are grain alcohols.
- Vodka is grain alcohol and water.
- Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous.
- Gin is (basically vodka) flavored with juniper berries.
- Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise.
- Whisky is grain alcohol aged in wood barrels.
- Malt whisky is made from barley.
- Grain whisky is made from all the other grains.
- Scotch is whisky made in Scotland.
- Bourbon is Kentucky whisky mostly made from corn.
- Don’t fuck around with the Scottish.
- Don’t fuck around with people from Kentucky, either.
- Tequila is liquor made from the blue agave plant.
- Rum is liquor made from sugarcane.
- Schnapps is liquor made from fruit “must” (smashed fruit that still contains seeds and skins).
- American schnapps is grain alcohol mixed with fruit flavors and sugar syrup.
- Drink apple schnapps only while playing Tekken 2.
- Sake is rice wine that’s brewed like beer. Or something.
- Avoid these cocktails: Grog, Long Island Iced Tea, Manhattan, Dark and Stormy, Jack and Coke, Piña Colada, Scorpion. They contain huge amounts of alcohol and/or a huge number of calories. That Long Island Ice Tea is the worst motherfucker of the bunch. Just avoid them. Have a lemon drop martini instead.
- Don’t drink on an empty stomach or you’ll puke.
- Don’t drink too fast or you’ll puke.
- Avoid Long Island Iced Teas. Like I said.
- Don’t drink and drive because you might kill my Mom. You fuckers.
- If your friend has had too much to drink and needs to crash, make sure she’s lying on her side so she doesn’t choke on her own vomit.
- Don’t leave a drunk friend alone.
- Passing out is a sign of being severely goddamn sick. If someone drinks and passes out? They are dying right now. Call 9-1-1.
- If you are drunk, don’t drink coffee or caffeine to get sober. Sip cold water and nibble some saltine crackers.
- Don’t be a fucking idiot. Don’t smash my mailbox.
- Really, do you need to drink?
- You probably don’t.
- But now you know some stuff. Maybe.
i have never seen a cat look more like cas in my damn life man
- That nudity is inherently sexual
- That people should be judged for their personal decisions
- That yelling solves problems
- That they are too young to be talking about the things they’re already starting to ask questions about
- That age correlates to importance
- That interacting with someone of the opposite sex is inherently romantic
- That the default for someone is straight and cisgender
listen up you little bitch
just noticed the webcam flashing above my monitor and realised I’ve been recording myself blogging in this position for an hour and twenty minutes
Matthew Gray Gubler for the Behind The Scenes look on ‘Gatekeeper’.
Sterek Week // Wednesday: Sterek Manips
Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski are top models in Hollywood. Signed with different agencies, the two often find themselves on the same set for various shoots. Although Stiles and Derek often butt heads behind the scenes, in front of the camera, their natural chemistry shines through.
Soon enough, the duo start spending time together outside of work. They quickly become friends, often snarking at each other about their different habits (“Honestly Stiles. I don’t know how you have the body you do when you never exercise and you eat like a horse.”) and their different modeling techniques (“Would it kill you to smile once, dude? I know that’s your whole thing, or whatever. But, I swear to God, if you smiled at one shoot, you’d kill half the population!”).
Their good-natured bantering eventually turns romantic when Stiles half jokingly says, “I hope they make us kiss at that Abercrombie shoot next week. I bet it’d be a blasty blast.” And when Derek answers back, “Why would we need to wait to kiss at a shoot when we can just do it right now?”, Stiles all but jumps into Derek’s lap.
Things are going well for them, both professionally and personally. And they’re careful to never appear as more than friends when they’re in public. When they finally get caught by the paparazzi out having lunch one afternoon, hands clasped together on the table, rumors start to fly about their possible romantic relationship.
Their publicists try to do as much damage control as they can, but Derek and Stiles are tired of hiding. They want the world to know that they love each other and decide to come out as a couple in a special issue of Out Magazine.
We have no idea what he’s doing…
drinking water but in a punk rock way